Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Currently, technology has been excessively used for monitoring public behaviour through CCTV cameras. Whereas/AND, In most of the cases people are unaware that they are being monitored. In my opinion, the advantages of these/THIS advanceD technology outweigh the disadvantages.

There are many benefits of monitoring people by using new technology without their knowledge. Firstly, Security is tightenED now as compared to past. For example, In the past, there are/WERE no CCTV cameras but noW we can see widely a lot of security cameras. Owing to this COMMA the crime rate has been reduced and the public IS also following rules and regulations. Secondly, these cameras are also using/BEING USED in ONE’S own business //such as jewellery shops//NR in order to check whether the employees are working or not. Moreover, these cameras are helpful to control the theft. Thirdly, cell phone tracking is one of the main advantages because these trackers are helpful to track our family members //those// who travel long distance at night time. Therefore, in my opinion, people feel safe and secure because of the monitoring system.
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On the other hand, there are some disadvantages of monitoring people without knowing them/ THEIR KNOWLEDGE, especially, these days CCTV cameras are being used in a negative way. For instance, In shopping malls who are installing safety cams in dressing rooms and recording it unknowingly due to this innocent people are losing their lives.
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In conclusion, //despite// there are some drawbacks by/OF using this high-end technology. However, I strongly believe these monitoring systems had made a positive impact on day to day life./MENTION THAT THEY HAVE MORE DISADVANTAGES

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